Overweight Guy Just Won a Miss America Beauty Pageant
Did you know that men’s legs, which tend to have better muscle definition than women’s, are often used to advertise stockings? It seems that men sometimes make the best women. Further proof of that came this week when a 19-year-old guy named Brían was crowned ‘Miss Greater Derry’ in a Miss America beauty pageant. Looking at the photos, you could be forgiven for thinking it was a social media hoax. One of his wives, say, in bulk would have been laughed offstage.
However, with well-groomed smiles, the losing contestants cooed as the overweight teenager knelt down so that a delicate rhinestone tiara could be placed on her head. After the coronation, Brían did not deliver the typical beauty queen speech calling for an end to war or cruelty to animals. Instead, he took to Instagram to brag about becoming “the FIRST transgender woman to hold the local Miss America title” in the pageant’s nearly 100-year history.
Ordinarily, I would refrain from making personal comments about the appearance of a teenager of either gender. And as a middle-aged, slowly sagging dwarf with a sense of fashion that would put a home-schooled child to shame, I am well aware that I have never been and never will be beauty pageant material. . But beauty queens are usually judged, at least in part, on their looks. It’s part of the deal. So you can’t help but notice that the winner of this particular contest looks strikingly like an undercooked, lumpy sausage, with his meaty moobs squashed into a dress.
In a world where online pornography is a click away and women in Iran are being killed for removing their headscarves, I find it hard to muster too much fury against the kitschy sexism of beauty pageants. The idea of women and girls parading while sweaty-handed judges mark them is certainly chilling and anachronistic. Nonetheless, the women entered the Miss Greater Derry pageant in good faith and deserved a fair chance. They were denied a prize that rightfully belonged to one of them. Brían flew away not only with the tiara, but also with a college scholarship and sponsorship opportunities. The other contestants had no choice but to applaud at the mockery made of their efforts. The show served as a powerful reminder that, in today’s America, failing to show deference to trans overlords (or trans overladies?) is potentially career-ending.
This pattern is reproduced in public life. From sports to politics to science, wherever programs are set up to increase women’s participation, authorized men in stiletto heels parade to mark them as their territory. And if ever proof was needed that trans women are men, it can be seen in the flattering and gushing behavior towards them the world over. Overweight women are not entered into beauty contests at all, let alone crowned.
Of course, some men have long been fascinated by the sight of beautiful women competing with each other. Before becoming President of the United States, Donald Trump was a co-owner of the Miss Universe franchise. Earlier this month, Thailand’s first billionaire – a transgender media mogul called Jakkaphong ‘Anne’ Jakrajutatip – bought the company for $20 million. The 43-year-old has already won awards and accolades for successful women, and was widely celebrated as the competition’s first “female” owner.
In the United States, an unlikely alliance is leading the fight against this trans takeover of beauty pageants. In a comical twist, the American feminist organization Women’s Liberation Front (WoLF) has been at the forefront of protecting women’s rights to become beauty queens. Last month, the radical women’s group won a legal battle alongside Miss America USA (MUSA). A potential candidate – a man who identified as trans – has filed a lawsuit against MUSA, after his application was rejected on the grounds that he is not a “woman by birth”.
As WoLF President Lierre Keith tells me, “You may roll your eyes at the fact that this is a beauty pageant, but the principle is the same whether it’s a contest, a homeless shelter, a hospital or a prison. Women say no to men, as we have the right to. These are “men pretending to be women and claiming a right to our spaces,” she says. The idea that femininity is a costume that can be put on by men is the essence of the right to swing the dick.
Much to the chagrin of proudly hairy feminists like myself, there are probably more Miss America fans and aspiring contestants than there are critics who rage at the patriarchal beauty standards these pageants promote. Given this, the silver lining of tall men like Brían waltzing around and snatching up women’s awards is that more women will be forced to put aside political differences and recognize what unites us. The threat trans ideology poses to women’s spaces and opportunities could hardly be clearer. So, I’d like to say a heartfelt ‘bravo’ to Miss Greater Derry – she just might end up inspiring women all over the world. But not in the way he imagined.
Joe Bartosch is a journalist who campaigns for the rights of women and girls.
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